...and God Winked YET AGAIN

Friday I had a series of medical visits.  The first was to meet with a nutritionist, the latter to meet with my GP about progress with my Heart Failure recovery.

The first one was interesting in that I discovered that I have, when I want, the ability to listen when I should and retain important information.  In this case it was in regards to my diet and eating habits.  Since my diagnosis I have become obsessive about the amount of liquid I drink and the amount of salts I consume and when I shared that with this practitioner of the nutritional arts she was most pleased.  She sent me away with some handy fliers and a good feeling about what I knew I should be doing, I just need to keep putting it into practice.  Not as easy as it may sound as I have come to the conclusion that my generation, late baby boomers or "tweeners" as we are often called, have served as sort of "crash test dummies" for the food industry and my eating habits reflect that.

My second meeting, the one with my GP was also quite upbeat, which is nice considering the last time I had visited that Kaiser I was in the emergency room. My Doctor told me that despite the gloomy demeanor of my cardiologist (who assured me was the best in his field but could be rather abrupt when dealing with patients) I was doing well.  I received assurances that if I apply myself (as I know that I should) that I can regain more of vitality and energy.  I just need to stick to the program.

Work has been slow this week in the studio, paying work I mean from clients, so I have been working on regaining my facility with some that formed the backbone of my identity for a very long time.  You might say it actually was the work that I was meant to do.  That is 3D modeling and animation.  It has been like dancing with an old partner and realizing that even though you have been apart for years that when you are together you rhythms match perfectly and everything just flows. It has felt like that.  At the same time though I kept hearing the voice of "reason" telling me that going back to something I love so much, when there is no promise of work attached, was foolish and I would be better served to be cold calling potential clients for web design etc.

My friend Pier says that at moment like this God often chooses to "wink" at you.  Today God winked at me in the form of afternoon exhaustion (my Doctor says all of my current problems stem from lack of sleep and that is something I will be working on in the coming weeks) and a movie I had not seen (but wanted to).  The film was HUGO, based on the book THE NOTEBOOK OF HUGO CABRET (which I loved.  Martin Scorcese is one of my favorite directors and many of my friends had been shocked when I told them I had not seen this film in particular, that they (my friends) thought it was film MADE for me in particular.

I often draw lessons from films, like Sufi teaching stories or Zen Koans.  I didn't really expect anything like that from this film but I warmed up some pasta and settle down to hopefully fall asleep.  There were messages in the film though, not tin foil hat kind of messages but aspects of the story that spoke directly to me like a targeting LASER. So now I sit in front of the computer, writing this and trying to decide if I should try and sleep or continue to work on this project I have set myself, safe in the knowledge that thing remain better than I thought they are at the beginning of the week, and in the background I hear the universe chuckling at me...